Parental Alienation: Why It Demands Criminal Charges for Child and Domestic Abuse

Parental alienation (PA) is a devastating dynamic where one parent systematically undermines and destroys the child’s relationship with the other parent. It is a profound act of emotional and psychological warfare, using the child as the primary weapon. This behavior causes severe injury to the child and constitutes a form of domestic abuse against the targeted parent. It is time for our legal systems to reflect the gravity of this harm by making PA an arrest-able, criminal offense under both child abuse and domestic abuse statutes.

There is no way to file a bullet out of any pistol or rifle without causing some form of physical damage or other permanent alteration to the bullet.

The Current Legal Ramifications of Being Found to Be Guilty of PA

Currently, parental alienation is primarily addressed within civil family court proceedings, usually during custody disputes. The legal repercussions are generally limited to changes in custody orders, therapeutic interventions, and financial penalties.

Custody Modifications: A finding of PA can lead a judge to shift custody from the alienating parent to the targeted parent, often drastically altering the existing parenting plan.
Reunification Therapy: Courts frequently mandate costly, intensive therapeutic programs to attempt to repair the severed parent-child relationship.
Contempt of Court: If the alienating behavior is a violation of a specific court order (e.g., an order to facilitate contact), the parent may be found in contempt, which can result in fines or, rarely, brief jail time, but this is for defying the court, not for the underlying abuse.
The Missing Element: Crucially, these are civil remedies. The behavior is rarely treated as a criminal act of violence or abuse, meaning the perpetrator avoids the serious consequences and stigma associated with an arrest-able criminal record.

The Severity of Harm It Causes the Children

Parental alienation is a recognized form of psychological child abuse that inflicts deep and lasting trauma. It is impossible to use a child to hurt the other parent without first injuring the child. Children who are forced to reject a loving parent, often adopt false narratives and beliefs, which fragments their sense of self and reality. The constant pressure, the feeling of having to choose, and the forced participation in the defamation campaign are experienced as emotionally traumatic, sometimes equating to the impact of physical abuse. They learn that love is conditional, manipulation is acceptable, and they lose the essential emotional security and modeling that two healthy parents provide. Studies indicate alienated children are at higher risk for depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, substance abuse, and developing dysfunctional relationship patterns in adulthood.

The Change in Laws Needed to Make That an Arrest-able Offense of Child Abuse

To reflect the true severity of the harm, laws must be modified to include severe, persistent parental alienation as a felony or misdemeanor count of Child Psychological Abuse.

Statutory Definition: The legal definition of child abuse in penal codes must be explicitly expanded to include the systematic psychological manipulation of a child resulting in the rejection of a fit and willing parent.
Mandatory Reporting: PA should be recognized as a condition requiring mandatory reporting by mental health professionals, teachers, and medical personnel, triggering a criminal investigation rather than just a family court filing.
Criminal Charges: Upon investigation, sufficient evidence of malicious, sustained alienation should result in an arrest and criminal charges, providing a formal mechanism of accountability that transcends the financial and custodial penalties of civil court. This is what sends the message: this is a crime.

The Severity of the Harm It Does the Other Parent

While the child is the primary victim, the targeted parent is subjected to a relentless campaign of domestic abuse. The goal is often not to hurt the child, but to inflict maximum psychological and emotional pain on the ex-partner. The alienation is a form of coercive control, where the alienating parent uses the child to maintain power and dominance over the targeted parent, even after the relationship has ended. The campaign often includes defamatory allegations (often false claims of abuse or incompetence) that isolate the parent from their community, professional life, and extended family. Targeted parents often spend life savings on legal fees and therapy in a desperate attempt to save their relationship with their child. The targeted parent suffers grief equivalent to the death of a child, coupled with the knowledge that their child is being actively harmed by the one person they themselves once trusted and is the only person besides themselves who should have an inherent instinct to protect their child at all costs.

The Change in Laws Needed to Make That an Arrest-able Offense of Domestic Abuse

To acknowledge the harm against the co-parent, state penal codes must integrate parental alienation into their definitions of Domestic Abuse (not necessarily physical violence, but emotional, psychological, and coercive control).

Inclusion in Domestic Abuse Statutes: Laws defining domestic abuse/violence should include provisions for “using a minor child as a weapon of coercive control or emotional harm against a current or former intimate partner.”
Restraining Orders: A finding of severe alienation could be grounds for issuing a protective or restraining order that restricts the alienating parent’s contact with the targeted parent and mandates specific behavior regarding the child’s relationship with the targeted parent.
Law Enforcement Training: Police and prosecutors would need specialized training to recognize and investigate the subtle, non-physical nature of PA as a crime of domestic abuse, ensuring that a criminal response is available where civil remedies have failed.

The Advantages That Could Come If Children Are Not Just Allowed, but Encouraged to Have a Strong Healthy Relationship with Their Other Parent

The ultimate goal of penalizing parental alienation is not punishment, but to create a legal deterrent that protects the child’s fundamental right to love and be loved by both parents. The benefits of this shift are profound:

Improved Child Mental Health: Children who maintain strong, healthy bonds with both parents have demonstrably higher levels of self-esteem, better academic performance, and fewer mental health issues.
Break the Cycle of Abuse: By criminalizing the weaponization of children, society sends a clear message that this behavior is unacceptable, potentially preventing the next generation from repeating the dysfunctional patterns modeled by the alienating parent.
Genuine Co-Parenting: When parents know the legal consequences for obstruction are severe, they are incentivized to move past their own conflict and genuinely prioritize the child’s well-being, fostering a more cooperative co-parenting environment.
Justice for Targeted Parents: Targeted parents would finally have access to the full legal system, recognizing the devastating abuse they have endured and providing a path for genuine accountability and healing.

Every child deserves to enjoy their childhood and have both parents take part in that childhood, even when their parents are no longer in a relationship together.